Month: June 2019

You’re a mom. Your ever-changin’ life is beautiful. So honor the changes.

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We’ve all heard the quote that two things are certain in life: death and taxes. But do you know about the third?

Change. And everyone resists change.

Today I invite you to embrace any resistance to change that you’re feeling. It’s totally normal and you’re not alone. And by the way, you’re also a great mom. Your ever-changin’ life is beautiful.

Today I invite you to embrace any resistance to change that you’re feeling. It’s totally normal and you’re not alone. And by the way, you’re also a great mom. Your ever-changin’ life is beautiful.

Ashley Fisher, gomama.love blogger

Have you ever heard of Change Management? It’s this concept in the business world that (here’s a shocker) people are people, and they bring their full selves to work, emotions and all. And when you spring big changes on them, they resist and go through a process of adjusting to a new normal. If you want a smooth transition, you have to create space for your employees to honor and mourn what’s being lost, even as you welcome what’s new.

This idea is just as important for family life. You don’t have to just grin and bear it when changes happen. You don’t have to get over it or get used to it. Instead, make space for what you’re feeling – find a way to celebrate or honor what you’re leaving behind. It’s a part of self-care and it’s huge.

The change in my life this month

My little girl has started saying “no.” For some reason, I thought that happened closer to 2 years old. And as my ever-independent and stubborn child begins this path in asserting her space verbally, I find myself resisting. Because “no” in my mind has equated to not being the center of her world much longer. How I’ve resisted being that center, missing all that free time and movement I used to have. And yet here I am, wishing it would stay a little longer. I’m going to become the Mom on Mama Mia, watching her daughter get ready for her wedding and wishing she could stop time.

Ok – that’s at least 23 years away, so this is a bit dramatic. But in my mind’s eye, I can feel that it will always be this way. Loving her where she’s at, missing where we were, and looking forward to all that’s ahead for her and our family. Here I am, resisting this change and all the ones to follow.

When my daughter was born, I left behind long hours spent with my husband, often cooking meals and then talking while he lay on the dining room floor, too full to sit in the chair any longer. I left behind the ability to spontaneously leave the house to go for a run or to see a show. And now, I am leaving behind this short year with my daughter as a baby, proudly toting her around and beaming with every compliment directed at her. Enjoying picking out her outfits and the satisfaction of a new superpower: forced sleep by nursing. I’m leaving behind the baby-style conversations we had, her babbling on and on to my encouraging “You’ve got a good point. Tell me more.” How I loved these slices of life!

How I’m honoring this change

My personal “change management” strategy is letter writing. I wrote letters to her while I was pregnant. It’s probably time to write another. I’m not sure how else I might honor the loss of her babyhood. I’d love to hear ideas.

I’m curious, how do you honor transitions as your children grow up? Is there anything you do to celebrate where you’ve been and where you’re going? I’d love to hear. Please post a comment. May our loving energy inspire and lift each other up. go mama!

Creative space for a busy mom like you? Heck yes!

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Someone once told me that becoming a mother is just another layer added to everything you already are. You don’t lose yourself or suddenly find yourself having to become something you never were. I still hold tightly to that idea. Being a mom is a process of meeting yourself in a new space, like any other major transition.

Who were you before your children were born? And have you drawn those dear pieces of yourself back into your present? For me, bringing music back was a milestone in honoring my creativity and my full self. Somewhere during my daughter’s tenth month – time blowing full steam ahead! – I decided my chaotic life was as settled as it would ever be and started checking out and auditioning for local choirs. The one I joined has been so. rewarding. Practicing the music happens in stolen scraps of time, chasing after my daughter who has toddled off with the music or whispering notes to myself as she sleeps. It’s messy, fitting this in, but I wouldn’t trade it. I’ve got a piece of myself back. A place where my spirit feels free.


It’s messy, fitting creativity in, but I wouldn’t trade it. I’ve got a piece of myself back. A place where my spirit feels free.

-Ashley Fisher, gomama.love blogger

Today I caught up with a long-time friend who is in a similar place – navigating the newness of mamahood and our ever-changing children. My friend recently started drawing art back into her life, capturing beauty on paper in some form that feels good to her. There’s no money in it. No fame. No audience, even. It just feels good. She remarked that once you start doing one creative thing, it starts snowballing. She’s making art again and has already started considering the best way to make music part of her days.

Once you start doing one creative thing, it starts snowballing.

Isn’t it wonderful to be alive? To watch opportunity show up as soon as we say, ok, I’m ready now to do this thing that my heart longs for. To watch that inspiration and creativity snowball into more filling experiences? The best part is, the creation is yours. There are no judges, and permission is already given.


*****Today my question for you is: How did you bring creativity back to your life after you became a mother? And if you are discerning your creative ventures, share what you’re thinking about! Please comment below – I just know your answer will inspire someone else to pursue her creative dreams. May our loving energy inspire and lift each other up. go mama!

These inbox habits will make you the boss of your time

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Email – can’t live without it, but living with it? My sister-in-law laughed at me recently when I told her I try to keep my unread personal emails below 1,000. It hadn’t occurred to me until then how crazy that is – but it’s just so hard keeping up!

Fellow closet-email-hoarders, this is your sign! You deserve to live every minute of your life with a clear mind and less distraction. Email wastes more time than most people realize, and it’s totally hidden.

Time is wasted every time you read an unread heading that you’ve read before. Think about it:

2 seconds to read a heading….

That you read 10 more times that day

….and the next day…

for 3 weeks….

…until you finally open it and deal with it.

That’s 2 seconds x 10 reads x 21 days = 420 seconds = 7 minutes. Seven minutes spent reading the same thing 210 times!

If you’re like me and have more than 1 email like this – the lost minutes really start to pile up. Ten emails passed over at this rate means you’ve lost 1 hour and 10 minutes (over 21 days).

What do you wish you could do with that hour?!!


You deserve to live every minute of your life with a clear mind and less distraction.

-Ashley Fisher, gomama.love blogger

I have since whittled it down and stayed on top of the inbox game. There are some tricks to it that I’ll share with you here. Some of these ideas were introduced to me at a conference. A high-level executive from a company came in and shared insights from his book. If I can find the book and his name, I will update this post and share it with you!  

  1. Set up your inbox to automatically tag and file receipts. You don’t have to read them or even see them – they just go to the right folder.  
  2. Unsubscribe from that listserv that you’ve stayed on just in case you might need that company. You know they exist, you can find them when you need them. Unsubscribe.
  3. As soon as an auto-notice of any kind comes in to your inbox, delete or move it to another folder. Especially if it’s the kind of notice that you never read.
  4. If an email will take mere minutes to respond, do it right there. Your mental energy and time are too precious to repeat the reading and thinking about it.
  5. This one’s important, so I’ll say it in bold. Your inbox is not your to-do list. If you need to remember to do something, keep an actual to-do list. Emails are checked so frequently that running through a to-do list every single time you log in is a recipe for feeling scattered and overwhelmed.

I can proudly say that I have way less wasted time than I used to because of these tricks. And I want you to know that I didn’t implement them overnight. I whittled away at my 1,000 emails over the course of 2 weeks. It became kind of a game, getting the number down.

You deserve to live every minute of your life with a clear mind and less distraction. You deserve more minutes freed up. I hope that these tricks will be useful to you. And if you have some email tips of your own, I very much want to know about them! Please share them in the comments. May our energy inspire and lift each other up. go mama!

Happy mom and baby. Life is beautiful!

The silver lining to any rough patch

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“There is another world, but it is in this one. -Paul Eluard”

These words came to me on a postcard from a friend studying abroad during my college years. Below them is a black and white photo of a grinning child jumping on a bed – possibility vibrating between her airborne feet and the mattress. Over time I’ve whittled down my memorabilia from those early-adult days, but I never could let this postcard go. There is another world, but it is in this one.

You can probably relate when I say that some days are full of this kind of magic, but others are a little harder. My toddler has been in more teething pain than I’ve seen before, and my own much-craved sleep to heal from a cold is nonexistent. It’s hard feeling like I’m going to be ok on days like this. Overwhelm has become a familiar companion since becoming a mother.

But then, there are fleeting moments that push the overwhelm aside. Blowing bubbles on the sidewalk with her in the morning hours, taking breaks to pet friendly dogs out for their morning walks. Showing her early red and yellow tulips. My favorite flower, now a word in her vocabulary.

There is another world, but it is in this one.

-PAUL ELUARD

Today, I wish for you quiet pause to notice the magic in this world. I wish for us the ability to observe overwhelm – or whatever hard emotions we resist – with compassion. Both worlds, the hard and the magical, exist side by side. And even if we forget for a little while, the sun continues to light our children’s faces. We are blessed.

***How do you move through rough patches? What helps you be gentle about them? Post a comment or respond to someone else’s. May our energy inspire and lift each other up.