Tag: self care

Creative space for a busy mom like you? Heck yes!

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Someone once told me that becoming a mother is just another layer added to everything you already are. You don’t lose yourself or suddenly find yourself having to become something you never were. I still hold tightly to that idea. Being a mom is a process of meeting yourself in a new space, like any other major transition.

Who were you before your children were born? And have you drawn those dear pieces of yourself back into your present? For me, bringing music back was a milestone in honoring my creativity and my full self. Somewhere during my daughter’s tenth month – time blowing full steam ahead! – I decided my chaotic life was as settled as it would ever be and started checking out and auditioning for local choirs. The one I joined has been so. rewarding. Practicing the music happens in stolen scraps of time, chasing after my daughter who has toddled off with the music or whispering notes to myself as she sleeps. It’s messy, fitting this in, but I wouldn’t trade it. I’ve got a piece of myself back. A place where my spirit feels free.


It’s messy, fitting creativity in, but I wouldn’t trade it. I’ve got a piece of myself back. A place where my spirit feels free.

-Ashley Fisher, gomama.love blogger

Today I caught up with a long-time friend who is in a similar place – navigating the newness of mamahood and our ever-changing children. My friend recently started drawing art back into her life, capturing beauty on paper in some form that feels good to her. There’s no money in it. No fame. No audience, even. It just feels good. She remarked that once you start doing one creative thing, it starts snowballing. She’s making art again and has already started considering the best way to make music part of her days.

Once you start doing one creative thing, it starts snowballing.

Isn’t it wonderful to be alive? To watch opportunity show up as soon as we say, ok, I’m ready now to do this thing that my heart longs for. To watch that inspiration and creativity snowball into more filling experiences? The best part is, the creation is yours. There are no judges, and permission is already given.


*****Today my question for you is: How did you bring creativity back to your life after you became a mother? And if you are discerning your creative ventures, share what you’re thinking about! Please comment below – I just know your answer will inspire someone else to pursue her creative dreams. May our loving energy inspire and lift each other up. go mama!

Happy mom and baby. Life is beautiful!

The silver lining to any rough patch

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“There is another world, but it is in this one. -Paul Eluard”

These words came to me on a postcard from a friend studying abroad during my college years. Below them is a black and white photo of a grinning child jumping on a bed – possibility vibrating between her airborne feet and the mattress. Over time I’ve whittled down my memorabilia from those early-adult days, but I never could let this postcard go. There is another world, but it is in this one.

You can probably relate when I say that some days are full of this kind of magic, but others are a little harder. My toddler has been in more teething pain than I’ve seen before, and my own much-craved sleep to heal from a cold is nonexistent. It’s hard feeling like I’m going to be ok on days like this. Overwhelm has become a familiar companion since becoming a mother.

But then, there are fleeting moments that push the overwhelm aside. Blowing bubbles on the sidewalk with her in the morning hours, taking breaks to pet friendly dogs out for their morning walks. Showing her early red and yellow tulips. My favorite flower, now a word in her vocabulary.

There is another world, but it is in this one.

-PAUL ELUARD

Today, I wish for you quiet pause to notice the magic in this world. I wish for us the ability to observe overwhelm – or whatever hard emotions we resist – with compassion. Both worlds, the hard and the magical, exist side by side. And even if we forget for a little while, the sun continues to light our children’s faces. We are blessed.

***How do you move through rough patches? What helps you be gentle about them? Post a comment or respond to someone else’s. May our energy inspire and lift each other up.

Five ideas to make remembering a loved one easy and healing

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May is a month with some sadness for my family. It’s the month my grandfather passed away. I sat at the foot of his bed in the dark, early hours of that morning, rubbing his feet and singing him on. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I miss him all the time. Especially in May.

I’m sure you have months with similarly hard anniversaries.


The most important thing is that we honor our hearts and whatever it is we’re feeling as these anniversaries approach.  

-Ashley Fisher, thejoymidwife.com

Today, let’s explore some simple and meaningful ways to honor loss. Things that take no extra time, which is especially important for mothers who struggle for time to sit still for anything! Our hearts still need care.

Five easy-to-do ideas:

-Make their favorite dinner and share some stories about them with your children while you eat.

-Grab a bouquet of flowers when you’re at the grocery store. Put them on your table as a reminder of their love for you, and yours for them.

-Plant a flower they loved if it’s garden season and you garden

-Talk to them as you drive to work (or write them a letter in present tense if you’ve got time)

-Call someone who also loved them and share some memories.

Want to do a bigger project in their honor? The website Love Lives On has over 100 ideas. I especially love their suggestion to buy a biodegradable sky lantern. You could even fill it with notes for them before sending it into the night.

The most important thing is that we honor our hearts and whatever it is we’re feeling as these anniversaries approach. There is no wrong feeling. No perfect timeline for grief. And no death for love so true. We are blessed.

****What about you? How do you remember your loved ones on the anniversary of their passing? Write a comment below or respond to another person’s comment. May our energy inspire and lift each other up.


Do this for your best relaxed self

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I’m going to tell you a secret to feeling more relaxed, and it has nothing to do with massages or pedicures or even a bath. But first, I’m going to tell you a story to help you remember the secret. I’m going to tell you about the pickle monster. (Stick with me now – you’ll see why!) I learned about the pickle monster in a book I read as a child. The author is lost to me, but the memory of the purple, green-spotted monster remains. She will help you remember what to do to become your best relaxed self.

The secret to becoming your best relaxed self

The pickle monster is an every-day gal  like you and me. She’s got a lot of balls in the air. One day she sees a jar of delicious looking pickles. She plunges her long hand in and grabs a fistful. But she is suddenly caught. No matter how she thrashes about, she cannot pull the pickles out of the jar. Finally, in despair, she lets go of the pickles. Her hand is free.

That’s it. That’s the secret to feeling more relaxed:

Let go of the pickles.

From Pickles to You

Let’s pretend for a moment that pickles represent all the things that we juggle. We put all we can into the pickle-making process: we launch activities with energy and hope and great intention. But no matter how we want to hold on to the success of everything, the truth is they’re all pickles that need to marinate.

I can’t control my daughter’s happiness while she’s at school any more than I can control a family member’s struggle with depression. I can’t control the end-product of team projects, only my role in them.

But Lord, do I try! And for the thousands of seconds I give to worrying and fretting – I have lost control and my body is tense. My hand is deep in the pickle jar when all the pickles want is to be left alone to become what they will become.


For the thousands of seconds I give to worrying and fretting – I have lost control…my hand is deep in the pickle jar when all the pickles want is to be left alone to become what they will become.

-Ashley Fisher, thejoymidwife.com

It feels so good, those moments when I remember to let go. It feels good to say, Ok, I’ve done all I can. I trust the process. I trust that things will be ok.

I regain peace of mind.

This, my friends, is the kind of control that creates a relaxed body and eyes that notice the bright day all around. We gain control by giving up control. Give it a try. Let go of the pickles.


****What about you? Where in your life do you need to let go of control? Post a comment. Reply to someone else’s comment to cheer them on. May our loving energy inspire and lift each other up.

Tell yourself these words to make change feel easier.

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In the weeks after my daughter was born, I wrote that her birth was like the layers of a mandala, she and I at the center, surrounded by the circles of people who comprise our Village. Circles that sustain us and love us and cheer for us as we unfurl ourselves in the grace of beginning. The words feel powerful to me still. Especially that last phrase about beginning, a blessing that can reach anyone starting something new – which happens to be all of us. The concept is gratefully borrowed from poet John Donohue “For a new beginning.” In my favorite bit, he writes:

Though your destination is not yet clear

You can trust the promise of this opening;

Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning

That is at one with your life’s desire.

-John O’Donohue

These words feel especially relevant now, at the beginning of this blog. They are a reminder to me and to all who read it that we are constantly beginning. The big, obvious beginnings of new children and new jobs and new houses, but also the constant chain of small beginnings that are no less meaningful. The new seeds for this year’s flower bed, the ambitious dessert recipe that may or may not turn out, new progress on healing old hurts. Dare we be gracious with ourselves in the outset, when all is unknown? We must be, or we would never begin!

If you have read the mission statement on this website, you already know that my mission is to foster a generation of daughters who love themselves. This is my new beginning. I will pursue this vision through us, their mothers – the women whose footsteps they follow.  I invite you to join me on a journey that reconnects our busy, loving, anxious minds with our hearts, our joy. From us, may our daughters first learn what it means to be a woman in love with her joy, her power, and all that she is.

In the coming weeks and months, I will create posts that invite you to connect with yourself, with other women in your community, and with your creativity. And to find time for all of that, I will also offer roadmaps and resources to make time in your day where right now there seems none to be found!

But for now, I leave you with this sentiment. Wherever and however you find yourself today, may you recognize that it is a beginning. And with that recognition, may you give yourself permission to be okay with the uncertainty, the messiness, the fear, the excitement, and the hope that comes with change. Clarity will come. Your path will rise to meet you. May you unfurl yourself in the grace of beginning.  

***The full text of John O’Donohue’s For a New Beginning can be read here.

***I invite you to engage with the ideas in this blog. Post a comment – what new thing is in your life today? Reply to someone else’s comment to cheer them on. May our energy lift each other up.