Tag: dream

stained glass window spiral

Your tired, beautiful heart needs this story

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There’s a certain kind of pause that most of us with babies and small children experience. We wonder whether our dreams for ourselves will ever come back to life as we feed and bathe and nurture small bodies, our own energy drawn thin and yearning for sleep. The answer of course is yes, they’re still here. All of your dreams are here. You’re just zoomed way, way in at the moment. Kind of like the bricklayer in an old parable, which I will share. Trust me, your tired, beautiful heart needs this story. 

A story for your tired, beautiful heart

There was once a bricklayer who spent her days laying bricks, one after the other. There was nothing glorious about the work. No one thanked her as she labored under the hot sun or in the cold wind, her hands thick with calluses and back bent. No one really noticed her, not much. Strangers passing by thought she was building a wall. 

This wall was a labor of love known only to her, so she did not mind that others did not see the deeper meaning in each of her movements. 

Then one day she put the final brick in place. She climbed down stories of scaffolding. Looking up, she smiled. Then she laughed, sending her voice and arms joyfully toward the sky. 

What stood in front of her was a beautiful cathedral, unlike any other. 

You are the cathedral

I love that image. A friend shared this story with me once as a metaphor for parenting – meaning that our children are the cathedrals that we build one tiny piece at a time. We can’t see the full picture while we’re in it, covered in their snot and bathed in their laughter. Bit by bit, as we witness the miracle of their unfolding, we also see the scaffolding and cement and steady presence of our own selves guiding their growth. We see the gift of love in its full beauty.

Yet, the metaphor is bigger than that. It extends beyond parenting to all of our dreams. 

My friend, even if at times you feel lost for a while, or like your dreams are on hold – know deeply that your life is a cathedral. One day you’ll take a step back and laugh with joy at this breathtaking, soaring thing you made. You’ll see that somehow, all of your dreams were held in the gaze of love, and all had space to rise as you showed up, one humble day at a time. 

You make one gorgeous cathedral.

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Tell me, because I’d love to know. What dreams still live in your tired, beautiful heart? Go ahead and name them here in the comments, then share this post with someone you love. May our words inspire and lift each other up. 

With joy and love <3

Ashley

Woman shining a light at night, like seeing the real monster in the dark

The Real Monster from a Thump in the Night

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My husband and daughter are sick with the flu. The last thing I needed was a monster in the dark! Fortunately, it turned into a laugh-at-myself moment that I don’t mind sharing

My husband’s been sleeping in the spare room in the basement in an attempt to keep me healthy. Good plan…but last night at 1 a.m. I let my sick daughter into bed to snuggle. Figure I’m more likely to stay healthy if I sleep longer, and her getting some snuggle time was the key to sleep. We do what we gotta do. Anyway… I get up to use the bathroom and tell her I”ll be right back. It’s about 3:30 at this point and I don’t bother turning the light on. I hear a thud, thump thump thump. I know it’s my sweet toddler coming to join me…but it’s 3:30 in the morning and I’m in the dark and my fully adult brain thinks “Oh God! Monster!” 

How to Face a Monster in the Dark


This week I happened to speak with two people on the front end of their careers. We teach what we most need to learn and it’s a funny thing, but what I taught them is something I have learned, but am also still learning. I shared that it’s hard to see the success stories of peers who make big news and not feel like you’re floundering – that because things haven’t lined up perfectly you’re making a mistake. There’s so much anxiety and self-doubt wrapped up in thoughts like that. So much of our own light diminished by these phantoms. They’re like my toddler monster in the dark – something wonderful is coming your way but because you can’t see it yet, you hear thumps and your brain thinks, “Oh God, Monster!” 

Even from this vantage point, with a budget and policy career I could follow as long as I desire… that urge to look around and compare myself to others is still present. Funnily, I don’t compare myself to other moms. I love that you’re out there making home for your sweet children, uniquely and beautifully as only you can. My comparisons are more to do with people who (on the outside) appear to have careers that light them on fire. The ones who wake up every day and love what they do from top to bottom. My dreams are turning toward something like that. I think it involves having a purple streak in my hair. Whatever and whenever that may be. 

Carry On, Sister

In the meantime – my work – our work – is to realize that those monsters in the dark are possibly something wonderful headed our way. We have to be brave enough to step out into the hall where the monster is and take a look for ourselves. Could be she’s the best thing that ever happened to you and you’ll get a lifetime of hugs and smiles and great big “Hooooo-RAHs! because of it. Could be there’s purple hair streaks and maybe more creativity and baking and flowers and gardening and kindred spirits. More sunshine-filled moments that carry us along these beautiful days.

**** What about you? What big or small dream is growing in your heart? I’d love to hear about it in the comment section. My our lovin’ energy inspire and cheer each other on. Go mama! 

Koala bear with her baby. You're a mama bear, too - here are some apps to help you amplify self care.

Hey mama bear – it’s time to care for *YOU* with these 7 free apps

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I love the idea of beginning anywhere. Anything that feels overwhelming or impossible is taken down to itty bitty bite size pieces. What’s your dream? Begin anywhere. How will you heal? Begin anywhere. How will you decide between all the options in front of you? Begin anywhere.  So whether it’s your mind, body, spirit, or relationship that you want to take to new levels, here is a list of 7 free apps that can support you as you unfurl your beautiful life. 

Apps for Body Health

-Avoid computer eye strain using a desktop app to remind (or force) you to take a break. I’m going to try one called “Awareness” because it uses tibetan bowls as the “time’s up” tone. Sounds nice. This article from Lifehack covers other apps that also do the trick.

-Are you drinking enough water? There are at least five apps out there that can help on this front, though the one called Aloe Bud is cute and includes tracks lots of self care elements besides water intake (like exercise, sleep, and eating). 

-Does waking up from a deep sleep ever make you feel groggy or out-of-it for the rest of the day? The Sleepcycle app solves that problem. It tracks your sleep and gently wakes you as close to your alarm as possible, but during the lightest part of your sleep cycle. This can help start the day on the right foot!   

Apps for Mind & Spirit

–Insight Timer is a free app with over 25,000 guided meditations for topics that include sleep, anxiety, and stress. You’ll also find conversations from leading spiritual leaders. As a bonus, you get to feel connected with a huge community because the app lets you know how many people are meditating at the same time as you. 

–Smiling Mind is a great one for people looking for guided meditations on the shorter end – such as the 5-15 minute range. Plus, this one has content that the whole family can use. 

–365 Gratitude. This one is intriguing and I’m going to give it a try, myself. This app turns gratitude into a game you can win. Brains love games and success, so it seems like a faster way to rewire a mind toward grateful thinking. 

An App for your Relationship

–Love Nudge for Couples. “It’s like a fitness app for relationships,” declares the website for this free app. The company has been around for a looong time, famous for helping couples understand the 5 Love Languages. Never heard of it?! Basically, each human has one primary way that they interpret information as “love.” For some people, gifts express love, others feel love through acts of service, others through affirmations, etc. This app helps you express love in a way that your partner considers most loving. Worth a try if you miss the quality time you shared with your partner before the first baby arrived. 

Begin Anywhere

Writing this post has been kinda fun. It feels good to know that there are so many people out there trying to build a world of people who love their lives. Some of these people even make apps! I feel like the older I get, the more I understand how much intention it takes to live healthy, happy, and whole. I think it would be overwhelming to try all these 7 free apps at once, but I will likely pick one or two that could make a difference and see what happens. 

My friend, whatever you most want to draw into your life these days, I hope you succeed. Remember that you are an unstoppable force once you make a decision. Your dream will come true, clarity will come. You are in the perfect place to make the next thing happen. Begin anywhere. 

***Tell me, because I would love to hear… what dream have you already made happen for yourself? Your story may just inspire someone else, so be sure to click on the comment button to share! Go mama!